I didn't want this to be another blog about disability/chronic conditions, but I really need to whine. I am still excited about my job. I love working there, but sometimes, just getting myself kick started in the morning to go, is a huge struggle. I have to get up an hour and forty five minutes before I need to leave just to be able to gather my strength and energy to leave. Once I'm going and actually getting ready, it takes less than 20 min. to shower, put on makeup, wrestle my natural frizz into some semblance of a style, get dressed and drag myself out the door.
Once I'm at work, I'm okay. Sometimes I have to struggle to complete a task, sometimes I have to really give myself a kick to start moving once I'm there, but I'm always glad to be there. I can sometimes work an hour or so over and do okay, but when I get home...OH BOY! Just sitting still for the half hour it takes to drive home, stiffens me up enough that getting out of the truck is a struggle, and the three steps up to the front door might as well be 7 flights of stairs. Then I have to sit still for at least half an hour in the house, take some pain pills that do little to help, but the little is better than nothing, wait for them to kick in, then drag myself to bed for a nap. The rest of the evening? I get dinner going with help from the kids, and that's about it. Perhaps a load of laundry on occasion, and then it's sitting in my chair with something to keep my hands busy, or my mind busy and praying that sleep will come soon so I will FINALLY call the day over. There is a difference between being sleepy, and being dog tired. When I'm dog tired, I have a hard time falling asleep. I feel sleepy, but the pain in my muscles won't let me fall asleep. SO...I pop a few pills the doctor has prescribed that is suppose to make me sleepy, which no longer do that, a few more pain pills, and wait for something to happen. This morning I finally fell asleep around 3 am. I had to shift through different sleeping areas to find one that would cause the least amount of pain. I started in Her Majesties spare bed, that wasn't good, my hip bone felt like it was going to poke through my skin. Which considering all the padding in that area, I don't think it could really happen, but it is really try to work it's way through. Then it was on to my bed where Hubby was snoring like a chainsaw cutting through sheet metal, which wont let me drift off. Then I moved out to the couch. Knowing I would have to get up in 3 and a half hours, but somehow, after kicking the cats off the couch with me several times, I think I finally drifted off, or passed out, I'm not sure which. Then the vicious circle starts again with daybreak.
Why am I doing this. Huh, I wanted to feel "normal"...HA!!! I know that life has changed and I guess this IS normal for me. It is good for me to get out and about, to talk to someone over the age of 14 face to face. I know Hubby is nearly 43, but sometimes the conversation is the same with my 14 year old as him. Bathroom humor never goes out of style for some guys..make that most guys. I'm sure I will loose weight eventually too. I sweat like a running faucet the 4 hours I'm there. I am using my muscles, which has that "Use it or loose it" necessity to it, and I'm really hoping that I will gain strength.
But here it is 12:30 at night, I know I have to get up in 6 hours but I need 10 hours sleep (Chronic Fatigue...it's such a wonderful thing), and I will wake in the morning and try to remind my self why I am doing this to myself again. I want to be productive, contribute, and feel "normal". What a joke!!!
Pity Party over for one night.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Happy Easter!
Her Majesty and Monkey Boy had a decent Easter. Monkey Boy did the "I'm too old to enjoy this", but I forced him into hunting eggs. He enjoyed it but will never admit it. Her Majesty has been on a huge sugar high all day, and we are just now, at 7 p.m. on Easter evening, dying eggs. I'm such a Slacker Mom. I waited until the last minute to finish the Easter baskets. I was at K-Mart last night at 8 p.m., with the stomach flu, buying Easter candy and baskets. *sigh* Oh well, at least this year I remembered it was Easter and bought the baskets. A few years ago I FORGOT IT! yep...forgot Easter all together.
Even Her Majesty's doll, Elizabeth got a basket. Yes..SPOILED is the word here. Poor Elizabeth is in desperate need of a new weave. She has been very loved and abused in her two years with us. Exactly what she is going to do with the PlayDoh eggs I'm not sure yet. I have a feeling it will end in a lot of screaming and a web search on how to get PlayDoh out of a dolls hair.
Then, a pretty little snowstorm came out of no where. Here is a picture of a wee little birds nest in my dwarf lilac bush. Don't worry, it was last years nest.
On a very sad note, my friend and cousins father passed away, very unexpectedly today. It just breaks my heart for her and her family. He was a terrific man and will be so greatly missed.
Even Her Majesty's doll, Elizabeth got a basket. Yes..SPOILED is the word here. Poor Elizabeth is in desperate need of a new weave. She has been very loved and abused in her two years with us. Exactly what she is going to do with the PlayDoh eggs I'm not sure yet. I have a feeling it will end in a lot of screaming and a web search on how to get PlayDoh out of a dolls hair.
Then, a pretty little snowstorm came out of no where. Here is a picture of a wee little birds nest in my dwarf lilac bush. Don't worry, it was last years nest.
On a very sad note, my friend and cousins father passed away, very unexpectedly today. It just breaks my heart for her and her family. He was a terrific man and will be so greatly missed.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Twisting my husbands arm- That's why I have my own personal zoo.
My sister is trying desperately to convince her DH that she really NEEDS one of the puppies. I know, as well as every one else, that he will eventually cave and she will end up with the puppy. It gets me to thinking about how many pets we have, and how I have twisted my hubby's arm to get each and every one.
You see, my husband is NOT an animal person. He is of the opinion that animals do NOT belong in a house. Boy, did he chose the wrong person to marry. When we were engaged, I lost my cat of 18 years. He was my boy since I was seven years old. While I was crying and sobbing, he was trying desperately to calm me down with the promise of "I'll buy you a new cat!". Well, I told him to wait until after we were married and we really didn't discuss it after that. We married on a Saturday, came home from our honeymoon on Thursday, and I woke him up on Friday morning with "HEY..wake up! I'm ready for the kitten that you promised me..NOW!" It was in April and there were not many kittens to be found that time of year. We drove to a larger, neighboring town, and found Harry. An honery, black and white kitten with the attitude of a lion.
I was content with "just one" pet for about two years, then I decided when Monkey Boy was a year old that he needed a kitten. I really didn't discuss it with him, I just went to his sisters house, picked out a kitten from her new litter, and informed him we were getting a kitten. There was some resistance, but not too much. It all went downhill from there.
Next came a mentally challenged, deaf, and aggressive Dalmatian puppy. Unfortunately, this puppy came home with Parvo, and only lived to be about a year old. We tried several other dogs over the years, but DH just didn't deal well with them in the house, and I couldn't stand to have them chained. They had to be re-homed...against my will btw.
Then came a 20 gallon fish tank. I wasn't all that good with it. I got bad information from a local pet store, but managed to keep it going for about 3 years with this scary plecostomus. I kept it running until the last fish died, then gave it up.
Then there was a Double Yellow Head Amazon. He was a SCREAMER! Not just a little loud, but screaming loud. Hubby didn't handle it well, and let's face it, parrots are high maintenance pets. When I was pregnant with Her Majesty, I decided that a parrot and a new born wouldn't be a good combination, and Riley the Parrot went to live with my best friend. I SO regret this and have learned so much over the years. Re-homing because of having a baby was such a bad decision, but I let Hubby convince me it was the right thing to do. He really hated that bird and I caved in to his nagging about it.
Since Her Majesty was born, I have given up even paying attention to his pleadings, and bitching, about the animals. I have added SO many more to the mix. First came Shermann, the kitty love of my life. I was taking care of his mother while she was going through cancer treatment and going to their house 5 times a day to do his mom's tube feedings and carrying meals to my father-in-law, all while trying to raise a toddler an 8 year old, and take care of everything around home. Since I was caring for his parents, and really stressed, he wasn't about to deny me anything. SO...I told him I needed a kitten. He was willing to let me have anything I wanted in gratitude, and I KNEW it. I told him I was going to get a kitten...a free or next to free kitten. I went to the pet store and spent $200 on a Persian. OMG!!! He freaked out...took a teasing from the guys he worked with on "paying so much for pussy" and being whipped, but he was taking it all in stride, just to keep me happy. He loves me and I know it.
I then convinced him that since we live in the country we should keep chickens!! LOL. He figured since they were outside, useful (eggs) and it's a "farming" thing, he would allow this and built a chicken coop for me. It started with 1 Rooster and 1 hen. I quickly added another hen and then by the next Spring, I was brooding chicks and he had to build me ANOTHER coop. Poor guy, if he had only knew then that his crazy wife would be hatching and brooding around a hundred chicks in the house over the next few years. There were also two ducks that my Mother added to the flock. She bought the kids Easter Ducklings. Let me tell you, there is NOTHING stinkier than trying to brood ducklings out in your house. The chickens remained until my health issues became worse and I could no longer care for them. We adopted my flock to a guy he works with, and I miss them desperately!!!! There is nothing like the sound of a rooster crowing, hens bawking, and holding a newly hatched chick in your hand. YES...I realized by this point that the animals MAY be a sign of a few mental issues I have. OCD being the more prominent one! lol
Next came Ducky, a Blue Pacific Parrotlet. I convinced Hubby that since he was so tiny at only 4 inches, that he would be a quiet, wonderful little bird. He would have the ability to talk (which he did), take up very little room, be reasonably inexpensive (He also believes that animals should be cheap to free!), and most of all...QUIET! Well, Ducky was all those things, except QUIET!LOL. Who knew so much noise could come out of a little guy not much bigger than your thumb. What was the primary reason that Hubby caved on this one. I twisted his arm and I had recently lost my Step-Mom.
Then my Daddy died. I had always wanted another large parrot since I gave up Riley and I then found my Timneh African Grey, Avery (I even named him after my Daddy). Now, DH HATES birds since they are so loud and he has no tolerance for the noise level, BUT he loves me more than he hates the noise, and caved to my pleadings to adopt Avery to cheer me up. I also added the 40 gallon fish tank to the household around the same time. I don't intentionally add pets when I am under extreme stress/sadness/depression, but I realize now I probably do it to distract myself. I LOVE animals and I'm just happy as a clam with my pets. They make this house HOME to me. MY POOR HUSBAND! This time, I did intentionally "guilt" him into allowing Avery to come into the house by using the loss of my father. I know, I should be ashamed of twisting his arm this way...but well??!
Next came convincing him that a 40 gallon tank just wasn't big enough to keep the fish I wanted. At this time I was also working at the pet store and convinced him I needed a bigger tank. I now have a 125 gallon tank in our living room. OH...and a salt water tank on the kitchen counter. I have gotten REALLY good at fish keeping now...bordering on "expert" level and specialized in fish and birds at the pet store. Who knew that my intense love of animals could become a paid job?
BUT!! He is the one responsible for Suzy, Her Majesty's kitten. Her Majesty begged her daddy for a kitten "all her own". Monkey Boy has his own cat, Sassa. I have my Shermie. She wants one of her own. Since she has Daddy twisted around her little finger ( He does LOVE his little girl), he told her that if she would clean her room and keep it clean, he would get her a kitten. Well, she did just that and he agreed to her kitten. Believe it or not, I was against adding another cat to the house. As much as I love kitty's, I hate litter boxes. I mean HATE litter boxes and the smells that come with them. I love my pets but am terrified of having my house smell like pets. Suzy came home and is the love of Her Majesties life. She is a wonderful kitty "mama" to her little calico, and her kitten just adores her. It is really a sweet relationship they have. BUT...I got jealous! I wanted a kitten too! SOOOOO...I went to the pet store and adopted Sammy. I called him from the pet store and really did strong arm and connive to get him to agree to her. She is a mitten kitten (poly dactyl). "Come on Honey..Please..please...please??? I really want her and two kittens are just as easy as one?" With my best pleading and arm twisting, he caved and Sammy came home. Are you all starting to feel sorry for him yet?? I did let him name her. That made it better. Right???
Then, I didn't really give him a choice. I didn't even ask this time, I just brought home a tiny, precious little Miniature Pinscher. My mom paid for her, and helped name her and I just fell in instant love with her. It is one of the hazards of working in the pet store. Jenny has finally won Daddy over and she loves Daddy more than anyone in the house. It took her living here for close to a year for him to finally decide she was probably okay. He likes her. He can barely admit it. It has become the "me against him" issue in the house with the pets, but Jenny has finally won him over.
There has also been hamsters, a mouse or two, a six lined skink that Her Majesty caught and brought home from Grandpa's house, a cockatiel that escaped and was then caught by a dog, a baby rat for a few weeks, and I even convinced him to let me bring home an orange Corn Snake that wasn't healthy and died within a few weeks, and two Guinea Pigs that were Monkey Boy's until he started refusing to take care of them.
Last but not least is Jakers, the Senegal Parrot. I fell in love with him at the pet store, kinda discussed it with Hubby, and I think I may have even said it was a temporary situation, but Jakers came home to stay. He is a good little parrot, but a BITER!! He has to stay here and live with us. He is so darn rotten that no one else would ever want him. I think at this point, Hubby has just given up. He is so tired of fighting and me twisting his arm, that he just has resigned himself to living in the zoo I have created. He complains..believe me he complains. The birds- he HATES..they bite him and they are indeed noisy. Avery is a beeping fool. He quiet literally makes this extremely loud beeping noise, driving everyone crazy. I love the birds! Ducky passed away at Christmas from the fumes of a "Chimney Sweeping Log".....a very stupid and fatal mistake on my part. I was so crushed and I'm still wracked with guilt over it.
NOW..I am back at the pet store. He lectures me DAILY that NO MORE animals are to be brought home from work. He is adamant and I think he has put his foot down...for real this time. It's okay with me. I have my hands full with the pets in the house as it is, and I don't need to add any more. I know we have too many, but I can't bear to part with any of them. I love them and care for them. I don't think fish count in the "NO NEW ANIMALS" rule though.....I haven't discussed this with him and don't intend on it. He doesn't pay that much attention to what is in the tanks and really won't notice new ones: so they don't count. Right?
BUT!!!! I really am feeling better now. I'm healthier and I'm really missing having my chickens. A few months ago the kids and I were discussing how we miss them, and Monkey Boy agreed to take care of them if we get some again. Hubby has torn the chicken pens apart, but the coops are still reasonably intact. Monkey Boy wants to rebuild the coops and pens himself as a project. My cousin has even agreed to let me have some of his adult banty hens and a nice little Rooster so I won't have to brood chicks in the house. Hubby agreed at the time, but has "thought better" of it since then. Hmmmm...I wonder if I should push this one?
You see, my husband is NOT an animal person. He is of the opinion that animals do NOT belong in a house. Boy, did he chose the wrong person to marry. When we were engaged, I lost my cat of 18 years. He was my boy since I was seven years old. While I was crying and sobbing, he was trying desperately to calm me down with the promise of "I'll buy you a new cat!". Well, I told him to wait until after we were married and we really didn't discuss it after that. We married on a Saturday, came home from our honeymoon on Thursday, and I woke him up on Friday morning with "HEY..wake up! I'm ready for the kitten that you promised me..NOW!" It was in April and there were not many kittens to be found that time of year. We drove to a larger, neighboring town, and found Harry. An honery, black and white kitten with the attitude of a lion.
I was content with "just one" pet for about two years, then I decided when Monkey Boy was a year old that he needed a kitten. I really didn't discuss it with him, I just went to his sisters house, picked out a kitten from her new litter, and informed him we were getting a kitten. There was some resistance, but not too much. It all went downhill from there.
Next came a mentally challenged, deaf, and aggressive Dalmatian puppy. Unfortunately, this puppy came home with Parvo, and only lived to be about a year old. We tried several other dogs over the years, but DH just didn't deal well with them in the house, and I couldn't stand to have them chained. They had to be re-homed...against my will btw.
Then came a 20 gallon fish tank. I wasn't all that good with it. I got bad information from a local pet store, but managed to keep it going for about 3 years with this scary plecostomus. I kept it running until the last fish died, then gave it up.
Then there was a Double Yellow Head Amazon. He was a SCREAMER! Not just a little loud, but screaming loud. Hubby didn't handle it well, and let's face it, parrots are high maintenance pets. When I was pregnant with Her Majesty, I decided that a parrot and a new born wouldn't be a good combination, and Riley the Parrot went to live with my best friend. I SO regret this and have learned so much over the years. Re-homing because of having a baby was such a bad decision, but I let Hubby convince me it was the right thing to do. He really hated that bird and I caved in to his nagging about it.
Since Her Majesty was born, I have given up even paying attention to his pleadings, and bitching, about the animals. I have added SO many more to the mix. First came Shermann, the kitty love of my life. I was taking care of his mother while she was going through cancer treatment and going to their house 5 times a day to do his mom's tube feedings and carrying meals to my father-in-law, all while trying to raise a toddler an 8 year old, and take care of everything around home. Since I was caring for his parents, and really stressed, he wasn't about to deny me anything. SO...I told him I needed a kitten. He was willing to let me have anything I wanted in gratitude, and I KNEW it. I told him I was going to get a kitten...a free or next to free kitten. I went to the pet store and spent $200 on a Persian. OMG!!! He freaked out...took a teasing from the guys he worked with on "paying so much for pussy" and being whipped, but he was taking it all in stride, just to keep me happy. He loves me and I know it.
I then convinced him that since we live in the country we should keep chickens!! LOL. He figured since they were outside, useful (eggs) and it's a "farming" thing, he would allow this and built a chicken coop for me. It started with 1 Rooster and 1 hen. I quickly added another hen and then by the next Spring, I was brooding chicks and he had to build me ANOTHER coop. Poor guy, if he had only knew then that his crazy wife would be hatching and brooding around a hundred chicks in the house over the next few years. There were also two ducks that my Mother added to the flock. She bought the kids Easter Ducklings. Let me tell you, there is NOTHING stinkier than trying to brood ducklings out in your house. The chickens remained until my health issues became worse and I could no longer care for them. We adopted my flock to a guy he works with, and I miss them desperately!!!! There is nothing like the sound of a rooster crowing, hens bawking, and holding a newly hatched chick in your hand. YES...I realized by this point that the animals MAY be a sign of a few mental issues I have. OCD being the more prominent one! lol
Next came Ducky, a Blue Pacific Parrotlet. I convinced Hubby that since he was so tiny at only 4 inches, that he would be a quiet, wonderful little bird. He would have the ability to talk (which he did), take up very little room, be reasonably inexpensive (He also believes that animals should be cheap to free!), and most of all...QUIET! Well, Ducky was all those things, except QUIET!LOL. Who knew so much noise could come out of a little guy not much bigger than your thumb. What was the primary reason that Hubby caved on this one. I twisted his arm and I had recently lost my Step-Mom.
Then my Daddy died. I had always wanted another large parrot since I gave up Riley and I then found my Timneh African Grey, Avery (I even named him after my Daddy). Now, DH HATES birds since they are so loud and he has no tolerance for the noise level, BUT he loves me more than he hates the noise, and caved to my pleadings to adopt Avery to cheer me up. I also added the 40 gallon fish tank to the household around the same time. I don't intentionally add pets when I am under extreme stress/sadness/depression, but I realize now I probably do it to distract myself. I LOVE animals and I'm just happy as a clam with my pets. They make this house HOME to me. MY POOR HUSBAND! This time, I did intentionally "guilt" him into allowing Avery to come into the house by using the loss of my father. I know, I should be ashamed of twisting his arm this way...but well??!
Next came convincing him that a 40 gallon tank just wasn't big enough to keep the fish I wanted. At this time I was also working at the pet store and convinced him I needed a bigger tank. I now have a 125 gallon tank in our living room. OH...and a salt water tank on the kitchen counter. I have gotten REALLY good at fish keeping now...bordering on "expert" level and specialized in fish and birds at the pet store. Who knew that my intense love of animals could become a paid job?
BUT!! He is the one responsible for Suzy, Her Majesty's kitten. Her Majesty begged her daddy for a kitten "all her own". Monkey Boy has his own cat, Sassa. I have my Shermie. She wants one of her own. Since she has Daddy twisted around her little finger ( He does LOVE his little girl), he told her that if she would clean her room and keep it clean, he would get her a kitten. Well, she did just that and he agreed to her kitten. Believe it or not, I was against adding another cat to the house. As much as I love kitty's, I hate litter boxes. I mean HATE litter boxes and the smells that come with them. I love my pets but am terrified of having my house smell like pets. Suzy came home and is the love of Her Majesties life. She is a wonderful kitty "mama" to her little calico, and her kitten just adores her. It is really a sweet relationship they have. BUT...I got jealous! I wanted a kitten too! SOOOOO...I went to the pet store and adopted Sammy. I called him from the pet store and really did strong arm and connive to get him to agree to her. She is a mitten kitten (poly dactyl). "Come on Honey..Please..please...please??? I really want her and two kittens are just as easy as one?" With my best pleading and arm twisting, he caved and Sammy came home. Are you all starting to feel sorry for him yet?? I did let him name her. That made it better. Right???
Then, I didn't really give him a choice. I didn't even ask this time, I just brought home a tiny, precious little Miniature Pinscher. My mom paid for her, and helped name her and I just fell in instant love with her. It is one of the hazards of working in the pet store. Jenny has finally won Daddy over and she loves Daddy more than anyone in the house. It took her living here for close to a year for him to finally decide she was probably okay. He likes her. He can barely admit it. It has become the "me against him" issue in the house with the pets, but Jenny has finally won him over.
There has also been hamsters, a mouse or two, a six lined skink that Her Majesty caught and brought home from Grandpa's house, a cockatiel that escaped and was then caught by a dog, a baby rat for a few weeks, and I even convinced him to let me bring home an orange Corn Snake that wasn't healthy and died within a few weeks, and two Guinea Pigs that were Monkey Boy's until he started refusing to take care of them.
Last but not least is Jakers, the Senegal Parrot. I fell in love with him at the pet store, kinda discussed it with Hubby, and I think I may have even said it was a temporary situation, but Jakers came home to stay. He is a good little parrot, but a BITER!! He has to stay here and live with us. He is so darn rotten that no one else would ever want him. I think at this point, Hubby has just given up. He is so tired of fighting and me twisting his arm, that he just has resigned himself to living in the zoo I have created. He complains..believe me he complains. The birds- he HATES..they bite him and they are indeed noisy. Avery is a beeping fool. He quiet literally makes this extremely loud beeping noise, driving everyone crazy. I love the birds! Ducky passed away at Christmas from the fumes of a "Chimney Sweeping Log".....a very stupid and fatal mistake on my part. I was so crushed and I'm still wracked with guilt over it.
NOW..I am back at the pet store. He lectures me DAILY that NO MORE animals are to be brought home from work. He is adamant and I think he has put his foot down...for real this time. It's okay with me. I have my hands full with the pets in the house as it is, and I don't need to add any more. I know we have too many, but I can't bear to part with any of them. I love them and care for them. I don't think fish count in the "NO NEW ANIMALS" rule though.....I haven't discussed this with him and don't intend on it. He doesn't pay that much attention to what is in the tanks and really won't notice new ones: so they don't count. Right?
BUT!!!! I really am feeling better now. I'm healthier and I'm really missing having my chickens. A few months ago the kids and I were discussing how we miss them, and Monkey Boy agreed to take care of them if we get some again. Hubby has torn the chicken pens apart, but the coops are still reasonably intact. Monkey Boy wants to rebuild the coops and pens himself as a project. My cousin has even agreed to let me have some of his adult banty hens and a nice little Rooster so I won't have to brood chicks in the house. Hubby agreed at the time, but has "thought better" of it since then. Hmmmm...I wonder if I should push this one?
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