"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall
I have become my mother
after all"
Growing up, my mom had certain sayings, that as kids, we made fun of. Some of them were real doozies too. I know raising three children wasn't easy. I didn't know that then, but now, I KNOW this. Her way of reacting to these statements now? Absolute, adamant denial. It never happened...la la la! We laugh at these mom-isms now, she shrugs her shoulders and claims our memories are false. Funny, we all three have the same memories.
~
"I love you, but right now, I don't like you very well!"
Now that was a good one. It would be in her most exasperated voice, and normally being screamed to my brother. He was a very trying child to say the least. There is no real reply a child can make to this statement. It's a good one, and I often use it with my own kids. Their reply is the same eyeroll that I gave my mom. Which leads to another mom-ism "I'm going to smack those eyes straight!" My mom was the queen of the slap on the back of the head.
~
"Do you want me to stop this car and turn around and smack you?"
The answer would be "Ummm, I don't think so!", or if we were in a really cheeky mood, "Sure!", yet if you dared to say that out loud to her, she became a woman of her word! This was also often screamed at my brother, did I tell you he was a trying child? Now I don't really remember her actually stopping the car, but she did the blind smack thing. You know? The reaching behind her while still driving smacking like crazy. If the blow fell on a child. It was done well. It didn't matter if it was the guilty child or not. She got the point across. I think now of what she did WHILE driving. I guess we should be grateful she never really stopped the car. I imagine the results would have been far worse, and led to a heck of a lot more damage. I truly believe that since she never did actually stop the car, is the only reason we all lived to adulthood.
~
"Do as I say, not as I do!"
Oh that was a goodie. It gave her the ability to do whatever she chose, and that magic phrase gave her pardon of all her sins and any example she may have set. You know, having a soda for breakfast, smoking, swearing, etc. All was good if we followed her rule. I wonder why all three of her children now do exactly those things. We never listened or minded much I guess.
~
"I can't have anything nice!"
I always thought that was the most ridiculous of all her sayings, yet now I find out, it was probably the truest of them all. Oh, my brother heard that one A LOT! I know I did, so did my sister. I remember breaking this bowl that sat on top of the fridge filled with artificial fruit. I accidentally knocked it off, and that was my mom's screaming sentiment to me. It still rings in my ears today. I just didn't get it. It was ugly to my 9 year old mind. She started screaming something about an aunt gave it to her, or grandpa or something. I was so certain that her reaction was simply because she loved to find something to punish me for. LOVED it, I tell you, because that certainly wasn't anything "nice". Talk about over reacting...pffft.
It's so true now for me. I just can't have anything nice. If it's not the kids, or the pets, it's my husband. Everything in this house has stains, been wrote on in permanent marker, tears, gouges, been shattered beyond repair, cat scratches, chewed on by birds, dug up by dogs, thrown away, thrown up on, disappeared into the great nothingness of "lost", been set on fire, drowned (that includes a hamster once), flooded, etc. Nothing is safe or sacred. Especially if it has meaning or value.
I am a victim of the "Mother's curse." You know the one- "I hope you have a kid that acts just like you!" Well geesh, I didn't think I was that bad of a kid. As I remember it, I was the good one. I can't even blame my husband for this curse because he was the absolute, perfect child. Just ask him.
I remember lying in my bed as a child, crying. I didn't deserve the punishment I had just received. It wasn't my fault my brother actually liked the dog food I made him eat! How dare she blame ME, for him throwing up. Is it my fault he was stupid enough to eat it? And just who knew that dry dog kibble could induce projectile vomiting? I swore right then...I would never treat my innocent and misunderstood children that way. NEVER.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, I have become my mother after all! And now that I get to experience the wonders and joys of motherhood myself, I have came to a very important epiphany in my later years~ My mother was a flipping genius!
